I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
