nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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