My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
