honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
