My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
