Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
