She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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