Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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