i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
