apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
