vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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