ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
