I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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