So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
