I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize