i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
