Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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