I got chris browned last night
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
