Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
false alarm, still single
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
