There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
