I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it was like eating out sand paper
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
