I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
