um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
