i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
