You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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