areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
