weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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