using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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