i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
