In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize