haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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