so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
