Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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