She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
