i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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