I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
