well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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