Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
