Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
