I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
