He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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