More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
