Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
