I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My sheets look like a crime scene.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Congratulations! We have a period
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