Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
