The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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