i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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