Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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