I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
