hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
