So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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