I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize