Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
