I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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