I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
