Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
