pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
