in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
