I got chris browned last night
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
