A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize