I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
