My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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