I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
