Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
