How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
