at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
