My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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